He Cooks: Chipotle Chicken Ranch Salad.

Chipotle Ranch Dressing

1 chipotle chile from a can of chipotle chiles in adobo sauce
2 teaspoons fresh lime juice
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro leaves
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup buttermilk
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon dried oregano leaves, crumbled
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt, or to taste

Place all ingredients in a blender; cover then blend until smooth.  Use immediately or refrigerate in a covered container.  Dressing may be kept, refrigerated, for up to one week.

10 Things Your Server Wants You to Know (part 1)

Before I get lynched or trolled for writing this, these are coming from MY PERSONAL experience as a server. Not all restaurants are the same, but I have generally found the following to be true. 


1. When figuring out the tip, 15% is where you START.

Forget what Gramps taught you when he gave the server $25 on a check that totaled $22.63 and he told her to, "Keep the change!" and winked at her. That tip won't even buy her a tank of gas.

Here in the great state of Utah, I make a whopping $2.13 an hour.

Wow. 

That amount hasn't changed for 22 YEARS. We're talking 1991 people. That was when a cease-fire ended the Persian Gulf War and the Soviet Union broke up after Gorbachev's resignation. Do you even remember 1991? Was anyone even alive back then?!

I was going to list all the states where this is sadly the case, but decided against it because it doesn't matter. Tip your servers regardless, it's what they live on. 

You should tip 15% to 20% to your server. Tipping 5%-10% is a slap in the face. You should always tip your server unless they have completely failed to provide you good service and/or are extremely rude or offensive to you.

Some important items to keep in mind when tipping:

Your server is NOT responsible when any of the following occur:

• Your food is too cold (or hot)
• Your food does not taste good (or does)
• The silverware has spots
• The restaurant is too cold (or too warm, or too crowded)
• There are not enough servers on the clock
• There is not a hostess to great you at the door
• There is not a booth available
• The only open table is near the bathroom
• There are not enough cooks on the clock
• The cooks like to goof off and hate the servers 
• The cooks take too long (or forget) to make your food
• The cooks take longer when you server asks them where your food is
• The bartender is busy (or slow, or a jerk) and your bar drink (which is ANYthing other than soda) is taking forever to be made
• The restaurant is out of a particular item (food or drink)
• The restaurant no longer makes your favorite dish
• They cannot serve you alcohol because you don't have an ID, you're underage, or you're drunk already

Your server IS responsible for the following:

• Greeting you in a timely and friendly manner (we're talking a few minutes here)
• Knowing what the specials/features are for the day
• Offering you something to drink and returning within a few minutes (see comment on bar drinks)
• Knowing the menu and offering suggestions
• Taking your order and entering it correctly
• If they brought your food to you, that it is the correct food
• Checking back (most places have a two minute/two bite rule) to make sure everything is OK
• Correcting any problems that arise
• Getting refills (remember, some restaurants restrict refills of free things like bread to be ONLY IF/WHEN the guest requests it)
• Clearing your plates (get out of the way, don't lean over your plate as they are trying to clear)
• Presenting your check and returning it promptly (see comment on split checks and cash payments)
• Thanking you for coming in

If you're having problems figuring out 15% of a check that comes to say $44.18, here's an easy way to do so. First, find 10% which shouldn't be too hard. In this case, $4.42 (don't be cheap, round up! it's a penny!!). Then, take half of the amount you just figured (half of $4.42 is $2.21). Now, add the two together ($4.42 + $2.21 = $6.63). Ta Da! Now give yourself some good karma and round up to the next whole dollar.


2. Don't get mad when your server asks if you want a non-water drink, an appetizer, a salad, and dessert at the end.

They're called add-ons and pretty much every restaurant everywhere requires us to ask you about them. We get measured, scored, and reviewed based upon these. Every server is expected to have a certain PPA (per person average), and it's usually an average of at least $5 more than your entree.

So don't be a jerk about it or try to say how full you are and couldn't possibly order dessert. If it were free you'd suddenly have room, right? Just tell us politely, "No, thank you." and we won't be offended.

Basically, don't be this guy:

"Servers get ranked according to how much they can squeeze out of each customer. Their tip depends on their PPA and a restaurant's overall sales depend on servers' PPAs. The servers at the bottom of this list get an earful as to why they're not selling more side salads, alcohol, desserts and the like.
Therefore, it's a battle between me and my server -- and to the victor goes the moolah. As much as my waiter tempts me to go for all the "add-ons," I in turn fight to keep the tab down."

You don't need to battle or fight us. Promise.


3. Manners, manners, manners!

This should just be a common sense item, but I am amazed at how many people forget this. 

• Say please and thank you
• Make eye contact with your server and acknowledge their presence
• Don't interrupt. Rude! I was right in the middle of talking about our wine selection when a lady, wthout even looking up, said, "I'd like some of that balsamic vinegar." There wasn't even bread on the table yet!!
• Remember we are your servers not your servants
• Tell us ahead of time if you're going to split the check
• Don't linger. Take a good look around. If you're the only table in the section/restaurant, chances are you are holding people up from going home. 
• Be patient! When all of you decided to split the check and everyone pays with cash. NO server ALIVE can change more than one or two $20 bills. This now means we have to go to the bartender, wait for them to acknowledge us, and then figure out how many of each bill (and coin!!!) we need to give everyone the correct change. 

4. Tip your server EXTRA when any of the following situations occur:

• You are dining with young children
• You had any part of your meal comped or you used a gift card. Just because your check is now a lower amount does not mean your server worked less.
• You ran them ragged asking them for something else every time they were at your table
• You split a meal because you're "not that hungry" and ate four loaves of free bread
• You're a teenager
• You're from Idaho
• You're from out of the country (gratuity is NOT included in the price of the meal, grazie!)
• You are part of a large party
• You didn't pay for the meal but Gramps did
• You lingered
• You split the check 
• You split the check on a party of more than two and you all. paid. with. cash.

 5. When your server is trying to place your food in front of you, MOVE OUT OF THE WAY.

Again,  you'd think this would be common sense. I have stood there with both hands full, them looking at me and they don't move a single inch. 

Get your damn elbows off the table and lean back. My fingerprints are burning off more and more with each agonizing second you just stare at me. 

As a funny observation, no matter how your server places your food in front of you, you feel the sudden urge to reposition the plate. Don't even try to deny it. It's awesomest when I've just told you how hot the plate is and you still do it. 
  

I'm Trying

Just call me Sisyphus. Minus the whole chronic deceitfulness thing.

I am trying:

• to make the best of our new apartment even though it was previously inhabited by smokers and there is extensive water damage.
• to not take it personally that a manager at work is being a power-hungry jackass and doesn't think I'm enough of a "team player" to work in the bar.
• to not stress out about the lack of hours Todd is getting scheduled which is forcing me to pick up as many shifts as I can.
• to not worry about how our bills are going to get paid each month.
• to not panic that we aren't pregnant yet after four months of trying, and more than that of not not trying. 
• to not hate my body's shape.
• to not get frustrated with Todd or the children on an hourly basis.
• to get caught up with laundry.
• to get caught up on dishes.
• to unpack more boxes and make this place feel more like home.
• to not compare myself to others so much.
• to try to think of a good enough reason to tell my Dad why we didn't Skype him today after Todd and I had a fight.
• to not be depressed on Sundays and not want to go to church because that means I have to smile, be nice, and socialize.
• to have patience through all of this.
• to not break down and cry right now.

He Cooks: Spaghetti Sauce (Bolognese Sauce)

This actually started from a Missionary companion, was forgotten, and then Jena searched out something similar. We used to buy Prego all the time, and once we made a decent home sauce we realized just how bad Prego was. Ugh. Can't go back now!

Ingredients:

1 pound of Ground Beef
1 cup diced green onion
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 tablespoon dried oregano
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 bay leaf
salt and ground pepper
1 can diced tomatoes
2 cans of tomato sauce
1 cup water
1 tablespoon butter

Method:

Heat the skillet, and a bit of Olive Oil. Add the Ground Beef and Onion, and 1 tablespoon of minced garlic. Saute until browned.

Once the beef is browned, add the diced tomatoes, tomato sauce and water. Then add the Oregano, garlic powder, salt, pepper, and bay leaf. bring to boil then reduce to medium low. Simmer for at least an hour to an hour and a half.

He Cooks: Homemade Spanish Rice

Jena doesn't like the Mexican Rice-o-Roni I've been using in a lot of my dishes and I've had a hankering for a Spanish themed rice. On top of that we have a massive overage of whole black beans from a reunion we went to recently.

So I did a bit of research and came up with my own recipe:

Ingredients:

2 cups white rice
Olive Oil and Butter
2 1/2 cups chicken broth
1 cup chunky salsa
1/2 bunch of green onions chopped

Salt
Minced Garlic
Onion Power
Chili Powder
'Natural Seasonings'
Green Chilies
a pinch of Red Pepper flakes

1 Cup Frozen Corn
Can of Whole Black Beans
3 cups Shredded Cheese.

Method:

Fry the white rice in the Olive Oil and butter. Once it's starting to look golden brown, add the spices and staute a bit. Then add the Chicken Broth and Salsa to it. Cover and cook on low for 20 minutes.

After 15 minutes add the frozen corn.

Once finished immediately mix in 2 cups and top with the last cup of shredded cheese and then remove from heat.

Theory: The shredded cheese will balance out the heat from the chili powder and red pepper, but keep the flavor.