I totally stole this from my friend, Lizz.
Why 78? I have no idea. Except since it was the year I was born, I will keep it.
(If you actually read this, keep a tally of things you didn't know and leave the number in the comments!)
1. I miss my job at Disneyland. I miss my VIP guests and all the fun extras I got to do while working there. Candlelight, Flashback, and Clue Crew.
2. Rylin is a name that I made up as a combination of our middle names: Ryan and Lyn. I wanted to spell it Rylyn but everyone said it was too many 'ys'. I still disagree.
3. I have two Deaf cousins and wish I knew more Sign Language. Rylin can sign 'book', 'more', and 'baby.'
4. As a kid I was introduced to logic puzzles and still love them.
5. I have lived in seven states and two countries: Oregon, Hawaii, Washington, Utah, Germany, Pennsylvania, California, and Idaho.
6. I used to do long division with my brother Joel when we were kids in Sacrament Meeting for fun.
7. I also used to write a list (complete with pictures) of what I was going to do when I got home from church.
8. I like to cook and bake, but I am too lazy to do it as often as I would like.
9. I have always had a lot of friends until I moved to Idaho.
10. I LOVE getting pedicures and will only go to a Vietnamese establishment.
11. I file my fingernails to be round and hate the way square nails look on anyone.
12. I used to do back-flips off the diving board until one time when I landed right on the edge as I was coming out of the turn. I still have the scar and I am still afraid to do another one.
13. I am not the best swimmer, but still managed to become a Red Cross certified life guard.
14. I never got asked to any of my high school Homecomings, Jr. Proms, or Sr. Balls. I am still bitter about it. The one person I wanted to go with later told me, "We just always assumed you had already been asked."
15. I LOVE LOVE LOVE overcast and rainy days.
16. The best Christmas I ever had as a kid was one my Mom got everything at a garage sale.
17. I love making, decorating, and eating the sugar cookie recipe from Betty Crocker.
18. I have been in debt for over ten years. I hate it.
19. I envied several people in high school, and felt lame being their friend, hoping they wouldn't know it.
20. I wish I hadn't worked during that time. I shorted myself that crucial social time.
21. I have bought and paid off only three cars. I keep them around for a while.
22. I feel robbed in a certain department but am not sure I can blog about it yet.
23. I waited to read all of the Twilight books until they were all out. I am glad I did. Edward kept me up at night. In a good way.
24. I hate that I can't be at home with Rylin. I only get three awake hours with her.
25. My favorite Disney character is Peter Pan. I once had a dream that I was Wendy and he was my boyfriend.
26. If we suddenly got wealthy and never had to work again, I would want to travel the world with Todd and Rylin.
27. Halloween and Christmas are my favorite holidays. I really love the months of October through December. The clothes, food, festivities, and music. All of it!
28. I am grateful for my parents but have a hard time expressing how I feel about them on here and to them.
29. I hate the sound of people throwing up. I hate seeing and smelling it. I hate throwing up myself and hardly ever do. Once every five or so years is my average, and only because of my gall bladder.
30. I have gall stones, hay fever, and hypothyroidism. Fun.
31. I get shopper's remorse even after buying things like groceries and diapers.
32. I love reading.
33. I haven't had cable for two years and don't miss it. Everything is online anyway.
34. I tend to start my sentences over and speak louder if someone interrupts me. I don't even realize I have done so until they get a surprised look on their face and stop talking.
35. I have been told several times that I intimidate people and am genuinely baffled by that.
36. I have had someone very famous be excited to meet me. The moment rendered me speechless, and if you know me at all, that is a big deal.
37. I read Nie Nie's blog and envy her. Not because of what happened to her and her husband, but because of who she is and what she has.
38. Every time I pray for a good night's sleep, I don't get one.
39. I placed a baby girl for adoption in 2002. It was the hardest thing I have EVER done.
40. I worked at a summer camp for three years in a row. I still have cherished friends from that time.
41. I was in Girl Scouts and LOVED camping. I tried and failed to later instill that same love into the Jewish girls at the camp I worked at. Just so you know, summer camp is NOT the same as scout camp.
42. I still love camping and go every year with my cousins. Rylin went when she was 4 months old and we even took her with us on the raft. :)
43. I want 4 kids.
44. I have been trying to get pregnant for the last five months.
45. I play World of Warcraft.
46. I used to get canker sores all the time. But ever since I did my first Master Cleanse, my body's ph must have changed because they have not come back.
47. I love Facebook because I am connected to my friends from Washington, Camp, Disney, Cali, and Utah.
48. I have terrible hearing. I always did, but ever since my ear drum ruptured two years ago, it has been worse.
49. I love anything related to cherries.
50. I work better and faster when I have music playing.
51. I wonder if I have inherited a chemical imbalance.
52. I have tasted alcohol and smoked. It has been many, many years since I have.
53. I used to make floor-plan drawings of my bedroom and come up with the optimal floor space plan before I moved my furniture. I did this weekly.
54. I still do this as an adult whenever I move to a new place. But now I use paper cut-outs that are to scale.
55. I have become obsessed with Words With Friends on my iPhone.
56. I love getting my feet massaged.
57. I am looking at the clock and dreading the fact that I have to get up in seven hours and am only on #57.
58. I hate Mondays. I always have.
59. Lizz doesn't know it, but she is the best friend I always wanted to have.
60. I have two 401Ks, but no idea what to do with them once I retire.
61. I haven't been happy in a long time.
62. I am afraid that one of my children will be disabled.
63. I feel awkward watching kissing scenes in movies with my husband. I don't know why.
64. We have only held FHE once or twice in the last two years.
65. I hate rest stop bathrooms. All of them.
66. I love cats and some dogs.
67. We have three turtles and lots of fish. And at least six new baby fish.
68. I feel like my night is imcomplete if I don't brush my teeth and "go" to bed.
69. I watch almost every movie/show with captions. Mostly because of my bad hearing.
70. I would rather eat pasta than just about anything.
71. I really only like chocolate if it is with something else: orange, raspberry, mint, peanut butter. Cadbury's and Dove are really the only exception.
72. I HATE dark chocolate.
73. I hate being hot and am sweaty even in the winter thanks to my thyroid. I much prefer the cold.
74. I seriously worry I will develop skin cancer or heart disease.
75. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I can't hide anything and should never play poker.
76. I have an intolerance for incompetence.
77. I hate when people pretend that they don't have any problems.
78. I have faith that things WILL get better than they are now.
Looking back over the list, I hope it isn't all negative! I just wrote things as they came to me. Now I am going to brush my teeth and "go" to bed!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
About this time...
I would be finding out if we would be having a boy or girl. We both wanted a girl with Rylin, and were very happy to get her. We wanted a boy next.
So it's really hard to hear all the October Moms reveal they are ALL having boys.
It opens a wound that hasn't completely healed.
Raw. Hurting.
And still not pregnant.
So it's really hard to hear all the October Moms reveal they are ALL having boys.
It opens a wound that hasn't completely healed.
Raw. Hurting.
And still not pregnant.
Monday, May 9, 2011
You
This post is for you. Yes, YOU. The person sitting there reading my words.
I started this blog as a way to digitally journal, since I am so bad at the old-fashioned way. I was inspired and astounded and the plethora of blogs out there in the blogiverse. Everything from cute princess hair-dos for little girls, to cooking, crafting, photography, hosting, and sometimes even just writing. I wanted people to read mine, but never really thought anyone would. So it always amazes me when YOU do.
I love your comments, including the private ones. Even if I don't always respond, know that I read them. They lift me up when I am down. They let me know you care about and love me, when I am feeling alone and abandoned. They reassure me that others experience the same things I do. You tell me that you feel the same way and are glad I had the guts to say it publicly. You validate my emotions and let me feel understood and heard. I sometimes weep when I read them. I weep because you often have it worse than me, and I weep that someone so wonderful as you is going through something so terrible. I hurt for you as you hurt for me.
I sometimes feel selfish for speaking my mind so openly on here. I often wonder if I should worry more about what ramifications it might have. But knowing that my "dirty laundry" can give your frustrations, sorrows, and anger all a voice, than it is worth it to me.
So thank you. Thank you for showing me that I am not alone when I fight with my husband. That I am not the only one who thinks life just sucks sometimes. I promise I won't always write about negative things. My first posts were happy! It's just what I am going through at the elongated moment.
I am thankful for YOU; you are what is getting me through this.
I started this blog as a way to digitally journal, since I am so bad at the old-fashioned way. I was inspired and astounded and the plethora of blogs out there in the blogiverse. Everything from cute princess hair-dos for little girls, to cooking, crafting, photography, hosting, and sometimes even just writing. I wanted people to read mine, but never really thought anyone would. So it always amazes me when YOU do.
I love your comments, including the private ones. Even if I don't always respond, know that I read them. They lift me up when I am down. They let me know you care about and love me, when I am feeling alone and abandoned. They reassure me that others experience the same things I do. You tell me that you feel the same way and are glad I had the guts to say it publicly. You validate my emotions and let me feel understood and heard. I sometimes weep when I read them. I weep because you often have it worse than me, and I weep that someone so wonderful as you is going through something so terrible. I hurt for you as you hurt for me.
I sometimes feel selfish for speaking my mind so openly on here. I often wonder if I should worry more about what ramifications it might have. But knowing that my "dirty laundry" can give your frustrations, sorrows, and anger all a voice, than it is worth it to me.
So thank you. Thank you for showing me that I am not alone when I fight with my husband. That I am not the only one who thinks life just sucks sometimes. I promise I won't always write about negative things. My first posts were happy! It's just what I am going through at the elongated moment.
I am thankful for YOU; you are what is getting me through this.
Friday, May 6, 2011
I Hate My Life
Not completely. But mostly.
I have already bemoaned the whole living-in-Idaho problem, so no need to go over that again.
The miscarriage and the resulting non-pregnant status have also been mentioned.
Oh, and nobody can forget my very public argument with my husband.
I have yet to discuss the problems with my mother…
So what else could there possibly be to complain about now you ask? Let’s find out.
I was lactose intolerant as a kid, but it magically went away as a teenager. It came back with a vengeance as an adult. No big deal there, except for the fact that I loooooooooove cheese. Have you met my Dad? Have you ever been to an Italian restaurant with me? Then you know of my inherited love affair with cheese. Any type except that nasty bleu stuff. Yuck. You can SEE the mold. I much prefer the slightly nutty flavor of freshly grated parmesan. Or a nice sharp cheddar. Or swiss straight up. You get the point. Fortunately, cheese and yogurt seem to have escaped the intolerance factor. But milk, ice cream, sour cream, anything else I have to either keep to very small portions or use Lactaid. Otherwise I am in pain for hours.
My gall-bladder throws temper tantrums. Last time it was checked, I had at least 3 stones. Ever since I had my first baby, my gall bladder has given me problems. I have gone to the emergency room twice because of the extreme pain and vomiting. I don’t throw up. Ever. I hate it. So when I do, I know something is very wrong. For example, my $7,000+ trip to the Emergency Room last Thanksgiving when they thought I had appendicitis (I didn't, thank goodness). Every other time they think I have the flu. Even after they test me at least two times and it comes out negative. “You probably just have some stomach virus.” Bollocks. They wanted to remove my gall bladder, but I wouldn’t let them. I have my own fears and concerns of surgery. Anyway, I have learned to modify my diet here as well. I can’t eat a lot of fried foods. Not that I did before, but especially now. Otherwise I am in pain for hours during the middle of the night.
I have mild hay fever in any state other than Idaho. It usually manifests with itchy eyes and lots of sneezing. Nothing terrible or needing medication though. Idaho, however, has lots and lots and LOTS of hay. They cut it down in the fall causing me to sneeze and have watery eyes which invariably ends up contracting into a sinus infection. Then all the snow melts exposing something new to me called “snow mold.” All the pollen/dust/etc. trapped under 4 feet of heavy, wet snow tends to mold over the long winters here. Then it gets released all at once into the air, sending my allergies into a spin again, and yep, another sinus infection. We’re not done yet! Now it’s planting time!! All that tilling of the earth sends even more stuff into the air. Repeat of steps 2 (allergies) and 3 (sinus infection). Have I mentioned I don’t like Idaho?!
I had very crooked teeth as a kid. I have a small mouth and big teeth. I thankfully had braces and they straightened out. That was 15+ years ago now. My teeth have slowly migrated away from that wonderful straightness. My retainers no longer fit, and I can't afford to get orthodontics in any form as my insurance does not cover it. I am getting a gap between my two front teeth that makes people think I have food stuck in there. :\ I press my tongue against it from behind during pictures so that it won't show. Because my teeth are taking on the properties of glaciers, they are usually sore. I take REALLY good care of them (OK I don't floss every single day, but who does?!) and still manage to have more cavities as an adult than I ever did as a child and didn't really care about dental hygiene, including when I had braces! Unless you power-wash those suckers, they are impossible to clean well. I had to get several fillings while I lived in California. I went through three dentists before I found one that at least spoke English as their first language. One of those fillings wasn't done properly, turned into an infection, and resulted in a very painful root canal. And then a crown. The weird stump of a tooth I had in the interim still brings a frown to my face. I started having nightmares about my teeth falling out. Sometimes I still do now. So every six months I wait to hear the inevitable news that I have another cavity. I once dared to ask my dentist, "Why, me?" and he told me I have bad genetics. Great. He also told me that if I hadn't been taking such good care of them, I would probably not have any more of my own teeth left. At 30. But NONE of this prepared me for the visit I had after Rylin was born. I think I squeaked by with no cavities in the previous check-up, so I was hopeful. ELEVEN CAVITIES. The number didn't register. It was outrageous. Incomprehensible. I cried as I was making the THREE appointments within three weeks it was going to take to fill all of them. How did this happen?! That was more than I have ever had in my entire life! Eventually my jaw healed from the onslaught of those appointments one year ago. My latest appointment? Yup, you guessed it. I had a cavity. I went in and they filled it. After he finished, I mentioned my floss was getting caught on one of my previous eleven, so he went back in and replaced it. Two for the price of one. Yippee. I couldn't talk for two hours thanks to the Novocaine on both sides of my face. At least my current dentist is a very nice man, and doesn't let me feel any pain during the procedure. But boy did my mouth hurt that night.
My thyroid is on strike. It does not work. My brain recognizes this fact and sends a chemical to my thyroid to say, “Hey you. Wake up and do your job.” I go in every 6-8 weeks for them to measure this chemical in my blood. Normal level is 0.4. When they first tested me, my level was over 30. Basically my brain was screaming at my disinclined thyroid. My last level was at a 7. Which does reflect that they have been slowly increasing my level of medication to replace the hormone my thyroid is supposed to create, hence less screaming from the brain. I haven’t noticed any other changes though except I am GAINING weight instead of losing it. I won’t disclose my astronomical number here, but I now weigh 10 pounds MORE than what I did 9 months pregnant. So yes, 40+ pounds more than pre-pregnancy. Sad. So very, very heartbreakingly sad. Your thyroid basically IS your metabolism. Kaput thyroid = kaput metabolism.
I have always been self-conscious about my weight. I now know this hypothyroidism is genetic, but that doesn’t make me feel any better now that none of my clothes fit me anymore. Nor can I go back in time and help teenage me have better self-esteem. Oh and as a bonus, I have recently learned that thyroid problems lead to decreased libido (which explains a LOT of things the last two years), infertility/problems conceiving and REMAINING pregnant (hmm, sound familiar?), being warm all the time and sweating as a result (I sleep with maybe a sheet in the middle of winter and turn the AC on if it gets above 70 in the house), and the inability to maintain a healthy weight (B-I-N-G-O). I would watch carefully what I ate, do pilates/yoga and run 3x a week, and still could not get below a size 12. Yet I would watch so many thin girls eat like pigs, never ever workout, and not manage to gain a pound (and then whine about how “fat” they were).
It’s not fair. Really, really not fair. And yes I am complaining about this right now because it has always been a thorn in my side and something I have always battled and not ever been able to conquer. I was teased relentlessly about it as a child (when I wasn’t fat), and I am still suffering the effects of that treatment now. I know for a fact that I got passed over for dates because I was too curvy. I have had to live through my own personal hell that resulted from that awareness. I hate the way I look. I hate looking at myself in a mirror. I hate seeing recent pictures of myself and try not to have any taken. I hate going places where there are people that know how I looked 40+ pounds ago. I hate the unsaid comments I see in their eyes as they appraise me head to toe. I hate the same thoughts and judgment I have about other wonderful women out there. I hate the ones who don’t-even-try-but-still-are-skinny ones even more.
Today unveiled a new health concern: breathing problems. Last night while turning in to bed, I couldn’t seem to catch a full breath. I would breathe as deeply as I could, but never could manage to have that breath peak. So I started breathing more often and yawning to compensate for the missing oxygen. The problem carried over to today, so I went to the Doctor, and they have no idea what is causing it, except they are confident it is not asthma. It could be one or all of the above mentioned health issues. They also think it might be stress. So now I am taking a thyroid pill, allergy pill, and a stress pill, along with my daily vitamins. But while I am typing this, I still can’t breathe.
So what am I trying to say with all this? I mostly hate my life right now. No I don’t have anything life-threatening. Yes, I have a husband who loves me and a beautiful daughter and we are finally able to pay our bills. Things could be a lot, lot worse. And compared to some other people that I know and love, I am not going through things that an outside observer would say are much harder than what I am dealing with. But that does not minimize MY struggles in any way. They are very personal and are just as big to ME. I can’t seem to catch a break with these health problems.
Let’s hope the myriad of medications and my prescribed “wellness” plan do something. Soon.
- Posted from my iPhone
I have already bemoaned the whole living-in-Idaho problem, so no need to go over that again.
The miscarriage and the resulting non-pregnant status have also been mentioned.
Oh, and nobody can forget my very public argument with my husband.
I have yet to discuss the problems with my mother…
So what else could there possibly be to complain about now you ask? Let’s find out.
I was lactose intolerant as a kid, but it magically went away as a teenager. It came back with a vengeance as an adult. No big deal there, except for the fact that I loooooooooove cheese. Have you met my Dad? Have you ever been to an Italian restaurant with me? Then you know of my inherited love affair with cheese. Any type except that nasty bleu stuff. Yuck. You can SEE the mold. I much prefer the slightly nutty flavor of freshly grated parmesan. Or a nice sharp cheddar. Or swiss straight up. You get the point. Fortunately, cheese and yogurt seem to have escaped the intolerance factor. But milk, ice cream, sour cream, anything else I have to either keep to very small portions or use Lactaid. Otherwise I am in pain for hours.
My gall-bladder throws temper tantrums. Last time it was checked, I had at least 3 stones. Ever since I had my first baby, my gall bladder has given me problems. I have gone to the emergency room twice because of the extreme pain and vomiting. I don’t throw up. Ever. I hate it. So when I do, I know something is very wrong. For example, my $7,000+ trip to the Emergency Room last Thanksgiving when they thought I had appendicitis (I didn't, thank goodness). Every other time they think I have the flu. Even after they test me at least two times and it comes out negative. “You probably just have some stomach virus.” Bollocks. They wanted to remove my gall bladder, but I wouldn’t let them. I have my own fears and concerns of surgery. Anyway, I have learned to modify my diet here as well. I can’t eat a lot of fried foods. Not that I did before, but especially now. Otherwise I am in pain for hours during the middle of the night.
I have mild hay fever in any state other than Idaho. It usually manifests with itchy eyes and lots of sneezing. Nothing terrible or needing medication though. Idaho, however, has lots and lots and LOTS of hay. They cut it down in the fall causing me to sneeze and have watery eyes which invariably ends up contracting into a sinus infection. Then all the snow melts exposing something new to me called “snow mold.” All the pollen/dust/etc. trapped under 4 feet of heavy, wet snow tends to mold over the long winters here. Then it gets released all at once into the air, sending my allergies into a spin again, and yep, another sinus infection. We’re not done yet! Now it’s planting time!! All that tilling of the earth sends even more stuff into the air. Repeat of steps 2 (allergies) and 3 (sinus infection). Have I mentioned I don’t like Idaho?!
I had very crooked teeth as a kid. I have a small mouth and big teeth. I thankfully had braces and they straightened out. That was 15+ years ago now. My teeth have slowly migrated away from that wonderful straightness. My retainers no longer fit, and I can't afford to get orthodontics in any form as my insurance does not cover it. I am getting a gap between my two front teeth that makes people think I have food stuck in there. :\ I press my tongue against it from behind during pictures so that it won't show. Because my teeth are taking on the properties of glaciers, they are usually sore. I take REALLY good care of them (OK I don't floss every single day, but who does?!) and still manage to have more cavities as an adult than I ever did as a child and didn't really care about dental hygiene, including when I had braces! Unless you power-wash those suckers, they are impossible to clean well. I had to get several fillings while I lived in California. I went through three dentists before I found one that at least spoke English as their first language. One of those fillings wasn't done properly, turned into an infection, and resulted in a very painful root canal. And then a crown. The weird stump of a tooth I had in the interim still brings a frown to my face. I started having nightmares about my teeth falling out. Sometimes I still do now. So every six months I wait to hear the inevitable news that I have another cavity. I once dared to ask my dentist, "Why, me?" and he told me I have bad genetics. Great. He also told me that if I hadn't been taking such good care of them, I would probably not have any more of my own teeth left. At 30. But NONE of this prepared me for the visit I had after Rylin was born. I think I squeaked by with no cavities in the previous check-up, so I was hopeful. ELEVEN CAVITIES. The number didn't register. It was outrageous. Incomprehensible. I cried as I was making the THREE appointments within three weeks it was going to take to fill all of them. How did this happen?! That was more than I have ever had in my entire life! Eventually my jaw healed from the onslaught of those appointments one year ago. My latest appointment? Yup, you guessed it. I had a cavity. I went in and they filled it. After he finished, I mentioned my floss was getting caught on one of my previous eleven, so he went back in and replaced it. Two for the price of one. Yippee. I couldn't talk for two hours thanks to the Novocaine on both sides of my face. At least my current dentist is a very nice man, and doesn't let me feel any pain during the procedure. But boy did my mouth hurt that night.
My thyroid is on strike. It does not work. My brain recognizes this fact and sends a chemical to my thyroid to say, “Hey you. Wake up and do your job.” I go in every 6-8 weeks for them to measure this chemical in my blood. Normal level is 0.4. When they first tested me, my level was over 30. Basically my brain was screaming at my disinclined thyroid. My last level was at a 7. Which does reflect that they have been slowly increasing my level of medication to replace the hormone my thyroid is supposed to create, hence less screaming from the brain. I haven’t noticed any other changes though except I am GAINING weight instead of losing it. I won’t disclose my astronomical number here, but I now weigh 10 pounds MORE than what I did 9 months pregnant. So yes, 40+ pounds more than pre-pregnancy. Sad. So very, very heartbreakingly sad. Your thyroid basically IS your metabolism. Kaput thyroid = kaput metabolism.
I have always been self-conscious about my weight. I now know this hypothyroidism is genetic, but that doesn’t make me feel any better now that none of my clothes fit me anymore. Nor can I go back in time and help teenage me have better self-esteem. Oh and as a bonus, I have recently learned that thyroid problems lead to decreased libido (which explains a LOT of things the last two years), infertility/problems conceiving and REMAINING pregnant (hmm, sound familiar?), being warm all the time and sweating as a result (I sleep with maybe a sheet in the middle of winter and turn the AC on if it gets above 70 in the house), and the inability to maintain a healthy weight (B-I-N-G-O). I would watch carefully what I ate, do pilates/yoga and run 3x a week, and still could not get below a size 12. Yet I would watch so many thin girls eat like pigs, never ever workout, and not manage to gain a pound (and then whine about how “fat” they were).
It’s not fair. Really, really not fair. And yes I am complaining about this right now because it has always been a thorn in my side and something I have always battled and not ever been able to conquer. I was teased relentlessly about it as a child (when I wasn’t fat), and I am still suffering the effects of that treatment now. I know for a fact that I got passed over for dates because I was too curvy. I have had to live through my own personal hell that resulted from that awareness. I hate the way I look. I hate looking at myself in a mirror. I hate seeing recent pictures of myself and try not to have any taken. I hate going places where there are people that know how I looked 40+ pounds ago. I hate the unsaid comments I see in their eyes as they appraise me head to toe. I hate the same thoughts and judgment I have about other wonderful women out there. I hate the ones who don’t-even-try-but-still-are-skinny ones even more.
Today unveiled a new health concern: breathing problems. Last night while turning in to bed, I couldn’t seem to catch a full breath. I would breathe as deeply as I could, but never could manage to have that breath peak. So I started breathing more often and yawning to compensate for the missing oxygen. The problem carried over to today, so I went to the Doctor, and they have no idea what is causing it, except they are confident it is not asthma. It could be one or all of the above mentioned health issues. They also think it might be stress. So now I am taking a thyroid pill, allergy pill, and a stress pill, along with my daily vitamins. But while I am typing this, I still can’t breathe.
So what am I trying to say with all this? I mostly hate my life right now. No I don’t have anything life-threatening. Yes, I have a husband who loves me and a beautiful daughter and we are finally able to pay our bills. Things could be a lot, lot worse. And compared to some other people that I know and love, I am not going through things that an outside observer would say are much harder than what I am dealing with. But that does not minimize MY struggles in any way. They are very personal and are just as big to ME. I can’t seem to catch a break with these health problems.
Let’s hope the myriad of medications and my prescribed “wellness” plan do something. Soon.
- Posted from my iPhone
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