The Wright Allisons

Jena, Rylin, Evan, Josie, & Tyrian

Monday, May 9, 2011

You

This post is for you. Yes, YOU. The person sitting there reading my words.

I started this blog as a way to digitally journal, since I am so bad at the old-fashioned way. I was inspired and astounded and the plethora of blogs out there in the blogiverse. Everything from cute princess hair-dos for little girls, to cooking, crafting, photography, hosting, and sometimes even just writing. I wanted people to read mine, but never really thought anyone would. So it always amazes me when YOU do.

I love your comments, including the private ones. Even if I don't always respond, know that I read them. They lift me up when I am down. They let me know you care about and love me, when I am feeling alone and abandoned. They reassure me that others experience the same things I do.  You tell me that you feel the same way and are glad I had the guts to say it publicly. You validate my emotions and let me feel understood and heard.  I sometimes weep when I read them. I weep because you often have it worse than me, and I weep that someone so wonderful as you is going through something so terrible. I hurt for you as you hurt for me.

I sometimes feel selfish for speaking my mind so openly on here. I often wonder if I should worry more about what ramifications it might have. But knowing that my "dirty laundry" can give your frustrations, sorrows, and anger all a voice, than it is worth it to me.

So thank you. Thank you for showing me that I am not alone when I fight with my husband. That I am not the only one who thinks life just sucks sometimes. I promise I won't always write about negative things. My first posts were happy! It's just what I am going through at the elongated moment.  

I am thankful for YOU; you are what is getting me through this.

5 comments:

  1. Yep. I totally get that. I quit blogging after our miscarriage because I was starting to get concerned phone calls. lol, If this is what works for you then do it! It IS an elongated moment, especially when you have a hard time getting pregnant again. (happened to us, too) I didn't have very many good things to say for awhile, so I stopped... at least on the blog. Sometimes I write things out, and then delete them after my vent is complete. Weird? Probably. But it works for me!

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  2. Sorry, that last comment was me. I was logged into my shopping account. :)

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  3. "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
    — Dr. Seuss

    Keep it up Jena, you are wonderful!

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  4. Jena, hun, you are saying so much of what I want to say but on my own blog I cannot say because of "people" around me(including the husband) would think I am being selfish and to depressed and that I should keep looking at the positive in life. If you would not mind I want to share a bit of my story and why I enjoy reading your story.
    My little one gave me a mother’s day gift, she made in school, something that I did not expect especially for a school teacher to have the kids to make. It was a book all about me it had a question she had to answer. One of the questions really hit home it was "If my mom had one wish it would be____ her answer it was "to have a baby". I have never really discussed this desire with her. She knows that we cannot have any more kids because her birth caused so many health problems for me but that she is so special and I would not trade it for the world. But she seems to know that there is someone missing in our family.
    It broke my heart. we cannot afford to adopt nor handle another mouth to feed because of room and my mental health right now because of depression. But for a little 7 year old to be so in tune to it was mind-blowing but made me feel so guilty. Because I realized that I was taking that frustration out on her when I should not have. It was not her fault that the doctors missed the signed that my heart was failing the last month of my pregnancy and that she was well over 8 lbs. She is perfect, smart and an amazing caring, and perceptive child. There is a positive to our story. My husband was sent home early from Iraq, all of our medical expenses were paid for at no cost to us because he was on active duty, and I have an amazing little girl.
    Jena, you have the guts to voice the same feeling that I want to say, but cant because my family will persecute me, and make my life even worse. But, being able to read what you write allows me to be able to release some of that pressure and remorse and regret. I thank you for that. Never feel bad with what you write, this is your outlet and its helping others. It does make a difference. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And please don’t weep for me, enough tears have been shed over my situation.

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