Some people...

... NEED to hear themselves sometimes.

I have a dear fellow-mother, that likes to chit-chat with me now and then about helpful Mom tips. She is fortunate enough to not have to work since her husband does, and has been able to stay at home with all of her children since the day they were born. Me, not so much. She is very laid back about most things, and doesn't tend to plan out all of the details. My job title includes the word, "planner" if that tells you anything. I plan. It's what I do. I like to be prepared. She has different house rules than I do (we don't allow shoes in the house, she does; we don't eat outside of the kitchen, they do; etc.) and instead of focusing on things like vacuuming, moping, keeping sticky little hands off of every single surface in the house, keeping toys clean, etc., she focuses on spending time with her children instead. Not that there's anything wrong with spending time with your children, but when I have to wear shoes in someone's house so that my feet don't get coated in a layer of some neglected spilled-and-now-mostly-dry liquid and then a veritable granola of miscellaneous dried food particles, I get uneasy. So when our kids get together, sometimes our parenting styles... clash. I have learned to let things go for the most part and have never said a word about my uneasiness to her. I acknowledge that the interaction is temporary and that soon I can retreat to the safety of my own home.

There have been a couple instances of careless comments tossed my direction though. I honestly don't think she means to insult me with these, but in making these statements it is very clear how she feels about how I choose to parent my children, and that she would never resort to something so heinous as the following: 


1. We travel a LOT. It is very hard to feed your children nutritiously on the go without packing more than the ton of gear you already do. We loooooooove the very handy organic pureed baby food that you can buy in convenient pouches. AMAZING!!!! Even as a toddler, Rylin still loves these. I can't tell you how many times these have let us be at church on time and let us stay for everything! No spoons, no jars, easy to hand to a hungry child in a car seat. Oh, and they are a blend of veggies and fruits which are SO hard to get while traveling.

I was extolling the virtues of these ingenious little pouches to my friend. She asked how much they were and I replied that they ranged from $1 to $2 depending upon size and brand. She scoffed and remarked how expensive that was. I said sure if you were using them on a daily basis, but for now and then it was better (and healthier) than fast-food. Then came the comment that I wish I could have recorded, "Well, I never bought or used jarred baby food for my children. I made all of my baby food for my kids."

Well pin a rose on your nose! If it's possible for someone to brag without intending to put others down in the process, that's what she does. All she needed to say was, "Oh, we never ended up using jarred baby food" and her point would have come across just fine. For the record, I ALSO made MOST of our baby food. I just chose to be hassle-free when it came to traveling. 


2. Rylin's hair gets becomes a mess if I don't restrain it. It's so fine that it will just float about her face. Couple that with a messy toddler's eating habits, and you're looking at three baths a day. No thank you! So I try to be a little more creative with her hairstyles when I have the time. In order to get her to sit still for any amount of time, I put on Backyardigans or VeggieTales which each have plenty of songs and keep her from jerking her head all over the place. Even then I can only get ten minutes max.

One day we were over at the same friend's house and she asked me to do her girls' hair in the same style that I had done Rylin's. No problem, except that I swear I have never seen these kids with clean hair. Ever. Even straight out of the bathtub. I had to use detangling spray just to work through the clumps of...???? matted in with the hair. My friend praised my work and said that Rylin always had the cutest hair styles. I thanked her for the compliment and didn't think much else about the subject.

Until recently. My friend and her kids were over at our house. We were all getting ready to go somewhere, and I sat Rylin down to do her hair. I put VeggieTales on since Rylin had been acting up anyway, and I knew it would be the only way to keep her still for even a minute. Halfway through starting to comb the hair, my friend says, "OH, I had no idea this (meaning the TV) was how you got her to sit still!!"

Blink blink. What am I supposed to do? Tie her down? Shave it all off and not deal with it until she's older?

I managed to sheepishly say, "It's the only way to prevent Rylin from moving her head all over the place." Then I started wondering why it was such a bad thing to let my daughter watch a few minutes of wholesome cartoons. Who was this lady to come into MY home and criticize how I got things done.

Before I could say anything further, she came out with the straw that broke this camel's back.

"You know, some people are good at doing hair. Not me! But getting my kids to read by the time they are two?! I am really good at that!"

I wanted to point out that her 18-month-old currently isn't saying anything other than a belligerent, "Ma!" right now and that I don't think he's going to be reading by her established deadline. But I didn't. Instead I kept smiling and doing Rylin's hair.



3. We have a name chosen for our new baby boy. We haven't shared it with too many people, but she happens to be one of them. She managed to make THREE comments about it within 24 hours to me.

1. "SO! Gryffon, huh? Just like Gryffindor in Harry Potter? Heh heh heh." 
2. (to Todd) "I'm not really sure about Gryffon!"
3. (when Todd mentioned a name he liked) "I like that one even LESS than I like the other one!"

My responses to her at the time were just a smile. But now I have to get it out. First of all, Harry Potter is NOT where we got the name, and our name is just a PART of a longer name used in that book. AND the book was an international best-seller!! Why is she bringing it up as if it were something bad?? As if we should be ashamed to be connected to that book in any way? It is not a weird name by ANY means, and everyone else has loved it when we tell them what it is. And who cares if she "isn't sure" about the name?!?!?! It's not HER kid!!!! Enough with trying to dissuade me from the name I LOVE because YOU think I should take into consideration what YOUR thoughts are on the matter!!!!!



So that's my rant for tonight. I had to get it off my chest somewhere. Thanks for letting me.