Dad's Pasta Salad

First of all, I love my Dad. He just wasn't really known for his culinary genius.

We grew up with:

"Hot Dog Chili" - Cut up hot dogs mixed into warmed Pork 'n' Beans with generous additions of ketchup and mustard. Until I was an adult, I had no idea this was called Beanie Weenie by the rest of the world.

"Oatmeal" with (soggy) raisins - It was even better (sarcasm) the next day once it had turned into a gelatinous goo in the fridge overnight and then nuked into silly putty cement in the microwave. NOTHING made it taste better. Believe me, we tried. We had to eat a bowl of this before we got to have any cold cereal. My Dad made enough of this to feed the Army, so it lasted for a week. Joy.

"Top Ramen" - I never knew this was supposed to be a soup! He would cook and drain the noodles, then add the seasoning packet along with frozen corn, peas, carrots, and/or lima beans (basically whatever was in the freezer still), and a can of drained tuna fish. No joke. Sadly, I eat it this way still sometimes...

"Carrot Juice" - Just like it sounds. This is worthy of a blog on it's own one day.

"Choose Your Own Adventure Dinner" - He would set out an assortment of MREs (meals ready to eat made by the Army) from his stash and let us pick. Beef Stew was the BEST. If you've never had the privilege of  having one of these, you are missing out! Here is a list of everything included in these tidy pouches as I remember them:

• Main course
• Side dish
• Dessert (used to be a condensed sort of fruit-filled bread, now they have candy)
• Crackers
• Spread of cheese (NASTY), peanut butter, or jelly
• Powdered beverage mix: fruit flavored drink, cocoa, instant coffee or tea, or sport drink
• Plastic spoon
• Flameless ration heater (these are really, really cool)
• Beverage mixing bag
• Accessory pack:
  • Chewing gum
  • Water-resistant matchbook
  • Napkin / toilet paper
  • Moist towelette
  • Seasonings, including salt, pepper, sugar, creamer, and a mini bottle of Tabasco sauce

******

Despite all that food trauma, my brothers and I ALL agree that my Dad came SHINING through with his pasta salad. We request it every time we are at his house for a holiday.

This makes a LOT of salad!!

What you need:
1 bag of tricolored (white, green, orange) rotini (spiral) pasta
1 can large pitted black olives, drained and halved (very important)
1 package imitation crab meat
1 bag frozen peas, no need to cook
As much Tilamook medium cheddar cheese as you like, cubed
1 and 1/2 bottles Wishbone Italian dressing (do NOT get any other brand)

*Optional
Throw in some cubed Swiss cheese too if you like it
May Dad swears he added cut up dill pickles sometimes, but I don't remember them. I haven't used them yet.

What you do:
1. Cook and drain noodles. Do NOT rinse. Pour into large bowl.

2. Add all ingredients except dressing. Shred the crab meat as you add it.

3. Shake WELL and pour one entire bottle of dressing over the mixture. Stir well. As you stir, you will notice that the peas fit perfectly in to the halved olives. This was one of my favorite characteristics of this salad. Years later I found out my brothers felt the same way and that my Dad would intentionally guide the peas into the olives as he stirred. See why it is sooo important to halve the olives? Yes, I know I am crazy.

4. Cover and chill several hours before serving. You will have to add more dressing before serving as it gets soaked up by all the yummy ingredients. I usually add another 1/2 a bottle.

Enjoy!